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[Long but important thread]
The main reason for low self-esteem (and what to do about it)
If you have low self-esteem, then let us first acknowledge that we know this is a very difficult problem to deal with & we know that it most probably contributes to your depression.
(1/n)
The main reason for low self-esteem (and what to do about it)
If you have low self-esteem, then let us first acknowledge that we know this is a very difficult problem to deal with & we know that it most probably contributes to your depression.
(1/n)
In all likelihood, the reason you have low self-esteem is because in your own mind, you compare yourself unfavourably to other people. For example:
(2/n)
(2/n)
You donât think youâre as intelligent as some other people. You donât think youâre as physically attractive as some other people. You donât make as much money as some other people.(3/n)
You have low self-esteem because you value something (such as intelligence, physical attractiveness, money or anything else), and you donât have as much of that something as others â or, you consider the something that you do have to be weak or inferior to that of others.
(4/n)
(4/n)
Most probably, this belief that youâre inferior to others started because in the past, you have gotten negative feedback, or at least you have perceived that youâve gotten negative feedback, about the something of yourself that you feel inferior about.
(5/n)
(5/n)
For example, if you have low self-esteem because you donât think youâre as intelligent as other people, this probably started because in the past, people have said or done things to make you feel unintelligent (e.g. calling you âstupidâ or insulting you)(6/n)
If you have low self-esteem because you donât think youâre as physically attractive as some other people, then itâs probably because in the past, youâve been criticised because of your physical appearance, or youâve been unfavourably comparing yourself to celebrities.(7/n)
If you have low self-esteem because you donât make as much money as other people, it could be because in the past, people have made a joke about your paycheck; or you feel inferior every time you see someone posting about things that you're unable to afford right now.(8/n)
It is likely that youâve internalised it in such a way that itâs led to you having negative beliefs about yourself â such as, âeveryone is better than meâ, âIâm a loserâ, âIâm unlovableâ, or âIâm not enoughâ. And, as a result, you now have low self-esteem.
(9/n)
(9/n)
How NOT To Fix This Problem!When you have low self-esteem, itâs natural to fall into the trap of thinking that if you can just improve that aspect of yourself, then youâll all of a sudden love yourself and feel really good.
(10/n)
For example:
If I get really toned then Iâll be as attractive as everyone else and then have high self-esteem!
Or, Iâll feel way better about myself if I make more money than everyone else, so Iâm going to start working 15 hours a day to become a millionaire!
(11/n)
If I get really toned then Iâll be as attractive as everyone else and then have high self-esteem!
Or, Iâll feel way better about myself if I make more money than everyone else, so Iâm going to start working 15 hours a day to become a millionaire!
(11/n)
However, this thinking is flawed because:
Firstly, no matter how hard you work (e.g. to lose/gain weight or to make more money), thereâll always be people who are skinnier/heavier than you or who make more money than you. You'll just end up comparing yourself to them.
(12/n)
Firstly, no matter how hard you work (e.g. to lose/gain weight or to make more money), thereâll always be people who are skinnier/heavier than you or who make more money than you. You'll just end up comparing yourself to them. (12/n)
Secondly, even if you do achieve something to such a perfect standard, then youâll no doubt redefine what perfection is; or, you'll find a different aspect of yourself to start unfavourably comparing - and as a result, youâll then have low self-esteem because of that.(13/n)
The RIGHT Way To Fix This Problem - And Therefore Lastingly Build Up Your Self-Esteem!(14/n)
To actually improve your self-esteem in a way that works in the long-run, you need to stop negatively comparing yourself to others, and learn how to predicate your self-esteem and your love for yourself on factors that are internal to you and that are in your control.(15/n)
For example:
Loving yourself because you're kind
Loving yourself because you're honest
Loving yourself because you'd be there to support a friend in need
Loving yourself because you're a strong person who never gives up even when life gets hard
(16/n)
Loving yourself because you're kind Loving yourself because you're honest Loving yourself because you'd be there to support a friend in need Loving yourself because you're a strong person who never gives up even when life gets hard (16/n)
Instead of negatively comparing yourself to others - which is setting yourself up to have low self-esteem - when you base your self-esteem on factors that are internal to you and that are in your control and then suddenly, YOU are in charge of your self-esteem!
(17/n)
(17/n)
YOU are in control of how kind you are, how honest you are, how supportive you are, how much respect you treat other people with, and how strong you are to battle depression.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON THAT MATTERS.
(18/n)
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON THAT MATTERS.
(18/n)
And, if you continue just doing these things that you value, then you can always, always feel good about yourself - regardless of what everyone else is doing in their life
I hope this helped you.
(19/19)
Via: The Depression Project
I hope this helped you.
(19/19)
Via: The Depression Project
