Last night I was feeling nostalgic about bubs& #39; early months. One of the couples in our NCT group has had another baby. And as bubs gets older I& #39;m starting to feel a bit https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💔" title="Gebrochenes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Gebrochenes Herz"> about never having another one. Bubs would be an amazing big brother.

Sometimes it weighs heavy on me that it is my body& #39;s fault that it can& #39;t happen again. Or rather it probably could happen, but it would also very likely make me very ill, put me in hospital & leave my family without me for 9 months. So it& #39;s a conscious choice that I have to make.

Which is even worse. I& #39;m on purpose denying everyone in my family, including myself the chance of a sibling for bubs. Please don& #39;t think that #HG is just a pregnancy thing. For many of us it& #39;s a rest of your life thing. Lingering, reverberating repercussions.

Bubs is my joy and I am grateful I could have one child at least. But it doesn& #39;t mean I can& #39;t grieve the loss of the idea of another sometimes.

I recently spoke to Charlotte @film_sick about all of this on her brilliant podcast The Hyperemesis Files. https://open.spotify.com/episode/6tqPZ0UXzyJfqpuXB9z0sF?si=lqJgAitkT2-KvEmMMgl6qg">https://open.spotify.com/episode/6...