thinking about internalized misogyny & gender tonight. sm girls r told patriarchal, stereotypical things growing up that distance them from womanhood/girlhood/femininity

that it really isn’t a surprise that many people, including myself, hated anything remotely associated with the binary gender. honestly there’s a lot about myself, my gender, my identity, that im not comfortable with

at the same time, i do like things about myself, about what and who I am right now, that does tend to subscribe to my cisgender identity. I associate & respond ALOT to being a woman, even if somehow the word itself makes me uncomfortable

i guess the pt of this thread is that i dont really know what’s the cause of this conflict in identity, whether its my personal thinking or what society has ingrained in me

self-awareness is just so annoying & i wish i didnt think as much as i do