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So in the early 2000s I was on the leadership board of my college LGBT+ group and we had...an epic fight
Basically in April our campus LGBT+ group had a dance, and the fight was over the name
The actual name is not important, but basically let's say it was something like "The Fairy Godmother's Ball"
Very campy, bad puns, in your face, unapologetic, fun
The actual name is not important, but basically let's say it was something like "The Fairy Godmother's Ball"
Very campy, bad puns, in your face, unapologetic, fun
Or at least that's what some people thought
Other people thought it was basically using a slur/stereotype to describe ourselves, which was offensive and how were unqueer people ever going to learn to respect us or give us rights
Other people thought it was basically using a slur/stereotype to describe ourselves, which was offensive and how were unqueer people ever going to learn to respect us or give us rights
So like I said, we had a fight. And it was technically about the name, but also about so much more. It was about if you cared whether unqueer people tolerated you, or if you got tired of waiting for crumbs and just lived your life
Anyway, a few years after I graduated I stopped by campus and decided to visit the advisor to the campus LGBT+ group
And apparently the group was having the exact same argument (but with different names because every year people changed the name)
And apparently the group was having the exact same argument (but with different names because every year people changed the name)
And I think about this every single time The Discourse comes up about "is queer a slur" or "is X group/person really gay" or whatever
Because it's the same fight
Because it's the same fight
When I started using the word queer to describe my sexuality in the early 2000s, partly it was because sexuality is complicated and I didn't want to have to basically give a thesis presentation to describe myself
Queer just feels right
Queer just feels right
But also, describing myself as queer was a political stance as well. It meant "yes I am queer and I don't care if that bothers you" and "I'm not going to hide who I am so that you will maybe accept me sometimes"
Queer is unapologetic
Queer is unapologetic
I was going to talk about historical movements that parallel this rift between "wanting to be LGBT+, but also fit in and be accepted and be 'normal'" and "yeah I'm tired of waiting for rights, I'm just going to take them"
But I'm tired
But I'm tired
But I think a big part as to why there's such a pushback to the word queer is because it *is* radical and it does threaten the status quo, because queer solidarity just marches over the status quo in sparkly rainbow stilettos
(Or rolls over it in a dazzling wheelchair)
(Or rolls over it in a dazzling wheelchair)
The epic fight is a clever trick
Because if we actually formed the coalition the rainbow flag is supposed to represent, we'd be much more effective
But unfortunately I can't just ignore it when people are gatekeeping queer identities
Because if we actually formed the coalition the rainbow flag is supposed to represent, we'd be much more effective
But unfortunately I can't just ignore it when people are gatekeeping queer identities
Just like I can't ignore it when people say bigoted stuff about any LGBT+ identity. Because people don't get to "debate" whether someone deserves rights or dictate how someone else describes their gender or sexuality or romantic orientation
So if you're reading this and you have maybe done some gatekeeping, I'm asking you to question who benefits if the rainbow coalition spends all our time fighting over who can reclaim which slur or whatever The Discourse of the day is
