My dog ate a $15 plate of raw chicken because I’m a dumbass who sets the grocery bags on the floor. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">

... and she’s not sorry about it https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😶" title="Face without mouth" aria-label="Emoji: Face without mouth">

So she was lying in her bed and I see this huge fleshy mass by her butt.

“Pumpkin did you have a puppy?!” https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😳" title="Flushed face" aria-label="Emoji: Flushed face">

ITSAFUCKINGPIECEOFCHICKEN

pls help meh https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Skull" aria-label="Emoji: Skull">