Apparently everyone is a "new" Woolies shopper. So here& #39;s some advice:

- Be prepared for someone to ask you if you work there. Happens every 3 weeks to me. Say yes & give them wrong directions

- Some people wear sunglasses in the store. Stay calm. Some are actually blind.

- If you buy Tin Roof ice cream, make sure to post a picture online & start an argument

- Nobody knows what the fuck that WRewards card actually does

- If someone in the queue asks you stupid questions about the stuff in your trolley, try not to punch them

- Everybody wears workout clothes but they have perfect make up. Don& #39;t even ask

- Code switching with other black shoppers doesn& #39;t work. They don& #39;t respond to "aweh", "bra" & "sharp". They stare

- If a kid is screaming, don& #39;t swear at it. They call security. Ask me how I know.

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