Thread by @chrismessina, I wonder who her father is #noYouCantHaveMyUsername Persistence doesn't always pay off. [...]

I wonder who her father is

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername

Persistence doesn& #39;t always pay off. Nor does desperation. #noYouCantHaveMyUsername

Wait what

Well, at least you have #reasons

Nah bro, you too brazy.

Lowballer. #noYouCantHaveMyUsername

I dunno bro, at 16 you should be happy with chris.m.smxth

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris

No, but I appreciate the politeness.

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris

Plz
Stop
Blowing
Up
My
DMs
K
Thx
Bai

#noyoucanthavemyusername #IGChris

They get ya everything except my username.

#noyoucanthavemyusername #IGChris

Step 1: buy a Dolorean
Step 2: watch the rest of the movie, it& #39;s all explained clearly

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris #BackToTheFuture

Dude, this kid wants to give me ALL HIS CHRISTMAS MONEY for my username.

I kinda feel bad turning him down but at least he likes my pics

...(though we& #39;ve previously established the ineffectiveness of flattery!

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😉" title="Winking face" aria-label="Emoji: Winking face">)

Dude, this kid wants to give me ALL HIS CHRISTMAS MONEY for my username. I kinda feel bad turning him down but at least he likes my pics ...(though we& #39;ve previously established the ineffectiveness of flattery! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

)" title="Dude, this kid wants to give me ALL HIS CHRISTMAS MONEY for my username. I kinda feel bad turning him down but at least he likes my pics ...(though we& #39;ve previously established the ineffectiveness of flattery! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😉" title="Winking face" aria-label="Emoji: Winking face">)" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

Definitely not. Sorry bro.

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris

Huh, funny! My name is ALSO Chris! What are the odds?!

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris

I am the realist. Does that make you unrealist... ic?

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😋" title="Face savouring food" aria-label="Emoji: Face savouring food">

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris" title="I am the realist. Does that make you unrealist... ic? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😋" title="Face savouring food" aria-label="Emoji: Face savouring food"> #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

I& #39;m going to need to see your credentials, boss.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💂🏻‍♂️" title="Man guard (light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Man guard (light skin tone)">

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris #SubtleTroll

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris #SubtleTroll" title="I& #39;m going to need to see your credentials, boss. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💂🏻‍♂️" title="Man guard (light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Man guard (light skin tone)"> #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris #SubtleTroll" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

Big spender.

#noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris

Love should always be given freely and without the expectation of getting something in return.

Don& #39;t cheapen your love, Christian. Show yourself some respect.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💙" title="Blue heart" aria-label="Emoji: Blue heart">

#noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris

Love should always be given freely and without the expectation of getting something in return. Don& #39;t cheapen your love, Christian. Show yourself some respect. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

#noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris" title="Love should always be given freely and without the expectation of getting something in return. Don& #39;t cheapen your love, Christian. Show yourself some respect. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💙" title="Blue heart" aria-label="Emoji: Blue heart"> #noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

TBH, it also has a special, emotional meaning for me too.

As in: it& #39;s my actual name.

#noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris

No, you can& #39;t ha... wait what?

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤨" title="Face with raised eyebrow" aria-label="Emoji: Face with raised eyebrow">

#noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris #copied

#noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris #copied" title="No, you can& #39;t ha... wait what? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤨" title="Face with raised eyebrow" aria-label="Emoji: Face with raised eyebrow"> #noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris #copied" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

I think I should put javaail in touch with chriiss.d. What do you guys think? Maybe they can broker a deal?

#noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris

Actually, why don& #39;t you go after the @roomba username?

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris

It was a reasonable attempt. And hey look! Now we& #39;re recursive!

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #noYouCantHaveMyUsernameEvenIfYouAreWongMJane https://twitter.com/wongmjane/status/1089071265338421248?s=21">https://twitter.com/wongmjane...

https://twitter.com/wongmjane/status/1089071265338421248?s=21

This, meanwhile, was an unreasonable attempt... @HarowitzBlack.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😑" title="Expressionless face" aria-label="Emoji: Expressionless face">

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris" title="This, meanwhile, was an unreasonable attempt... @HarowitzBlack. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😑" title="Expressionless face" aria-label="Emoji: Expressionless face"> #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

Do you think he uses hashtags like this#?

Also, his bio reads: & #39;Showbiz& #39;

Mhmm. There ain& #39;t no thang like it.

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing">

No.

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris

You can pray all you want but #noYouCantHaveMyUsername.

#IGChris

Gah. Now they& #39;re in my comments! They& #39;re like termites!

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐜" title="Ant" aria-label="Emoji: Ant">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐜" title="Ant" aria-label="Emoji: Ant">

#noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris

Gah. Now they& #39;re in my comments! They& #39;re like termites! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐜" title="Ant" aria-label="Emoji: Ant">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐜" title="Ant" aria-label="Emoji: Ant">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐜" title="Ant" aria-label="Emoji: Ant"> #noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris" title="Gah. Now they& #39;re in my comments! They& #39;re like termites! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐜" title="Ant" aria-label="Emoji: Ant">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐜" title="Ant" aria-label="Emoji: Ant">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐜" title="Ant" aria-label="Emoji: Ant">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐜" title="Ant" aria-label="Emoji: Ant"> #noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

Hmm... Can I ask for annnnnythingggg?

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face">

#noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris

#noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris" title="Hmm... Can I ask for annnnnythingggg? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face"> #noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

Sheesh, random eh?

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">

#noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris

#noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris" title="Sheesh, random eh? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy"> #noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

I think @thechriskinney might be serious about this, though I don& #39;t know why he waveguide to see me on Jan 5, 2017.

Regardless, #noYouCantHaveMyUsername.

#IGChris

Why you don& #39;t start by not slapping people& #39;s kids and then we can have a conversation?

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤬" title="Face with symbols over mouth" aria-label="Emoji: Face with symbols over mouth">

Otherwise, #noYouCantHaveMyUsername.

#IGChris

Why you don& #39;t start by not slapping people& #39;s kids and then we can have a conversation? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

Otherwise, #noYouCantHaveMyUsername. #IGChris" title="Why you don& #39;t start by not slapping people& #39;s kids and then we can have a conversation? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤬" title="Face with symbols over mouth" aria-label="Emoji: Face with symbols over mouth">Otherwise, #noYouCantHaveMyUsername. #IGChris" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

Hot damn. How about 1 billion dollars!?

#NoYouCantHaveMyUsername #EvenForABillionDollars #IGChris

Um. Why do you think I be the owner of @vulcano? Don& #39;t you want @chris?

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face">

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris

Um. Why do you think I be the owner of @vulcano? Don& #39;t you want @chris? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face"> #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris" title="Um. Why do you think I be the owner of @vulcano? Don& #39;t you want @chris? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face"> #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

"more than you have"

#noyoucanthavemyusername #IGChris

MINE

#noyoucanthavemyusername #IGChris

Maybe I should sell futures on my username.

#noyoucanthavemyusername #IGChris

Hmm. Tokin some weed.. That& #39;s a new one.

#noyoucanthavemyusername #IGChris

Guys, a little meta moment, but I went on the @gadgetlab podcast w/ @snackfight @LaurenGoode and @pardesoteric to talk about #IGChris and the scourge of having an OG username.

#noyoucanthavemyusername https://www.wired.com/2019/02/gadget-lab-podcast-394/">https://www.wired.com/2019/02/g...

No, You Can’t Have My Username

Product designer Chris Messina snagged @chris as his Instagram name. It’s been awesome—and terrible. Plus: Amazon splits with NYC, on the Gadget Lab podcast.

https://www.wired.com/2019/02/gadget-lab-podcast-394/

It is a nice name haha!

Not a chance, but it would be awesome.

Even with your offer of a little "expense allowance". Heh heh heh

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😑" title="Expressionless face" aria-label="Emoji: Expressionless face">

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername

It is a nice name haha!Not a chance, but it would be awesome. Even with your offer of a little "expense allowance". Heh heh hehhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername" title="It is a nice name haha!Not a chance, but it would be awesome. Even with your offer of a little "expense allowance". Heh heh hehhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😑" title="Expressionless face" aria-label="Emoji: Expressionless face"> #noYouCantHaveMyUsername" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

Jeezus, sending me emails now?!

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername

Uhhh. What do I look like, IG customer service?

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦🏼‍♂️" title="Man facepalming (medium light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Man facepalming (medium light skin tone)">

" title="Uhhh. What do I look like, IG customer service? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦🏼‍♂️" title="Man facepalming (medium light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Man facepalming (medium light skin tone)">" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

Finally. Some respect.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😅" title="Smiling face with open mouth and cold sweat" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with open mouth and cold sweat">

It only took me 9 years.

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername

It only took me 9 years. #noYouCantHaveMyUsername" title="Finally. Some respect. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😅" title="Smiling face with open mouth and cold sweat" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with open mouth and cold sweat">It only took me 9 years. #noYouCantHaveMyUsername" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

I& #39;m thinking that I& #39;m just going to tell people that the price is in my LINK IN BIO

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername
/cc @snackfight @LaurenGoode @pardesoteric

Less random than you think, my good sir! Though it& #39;s nothing like pulling a rabbit from a hat...

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Sparkles" aria-label="Emoji: Sparkles">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🎩" title="Top hat" aria-label="Emoji: Top hat">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐰" title="Rabbit face" aria-label="Emoji: Rabbit face">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Sparkles" aria-label="Emoji: Sparkles">

(Also, SOOOO tempted to set the price at $1/follower|subscriber just to see what he& #39;d say)

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername

Less random than you think, my good sir! Though it& #39;s nothing like pulling a rabbit from a hat... https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🎩" title="Top hat" aria-label="Emoji: Top hat">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐰" title="Rabbit face" aria-label="Emoji: Rabbit face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Sparkles" aria-label="Emoji: Sparkles">(Also, SOOOO tempted to set the price at $1/follower|subscriber just to see what he& #39;d say) #noYouCantHaveMyUsername" title="Less random than you think, my good sir! Though it& #39;s nothing like pulling a rabbit from a hat... https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Sparkles" aria-label="Emoji: Sparkles">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🎩" title="Top hat" aria-label="Emoji: Top hat">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐰" title="Rabbit face" aria-label="Emoji: Rabbit face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Sparkles" aria-label="Emoji: Sparkles">(Also, SOOOO tempted to set the price at $1/follower|subscriber just to see what he& #39;d say) #noYouCantHaveMyUsername">

I really wish all offers were this clear and polite.

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris

No, nope, nope and definitely can& #39;t help you with that.

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris

I& #39;m not feeling very creative today. What should I tell him?

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris

Jesus Chris is risen

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍟" title="French fries" aria-label="Emoji: French fries">

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris #IGFrenchFryChris

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris #IGFrenchFryChris" title="Jesus Chris is risen https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍟" title="French fries" aria-label="Emoji: French fries"> #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris #IGFrenchFryChris" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

I just... can& #39;t.

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris

Oh you can offer money, can you?

Because I& #39;ve never heard *that* before.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙄" title="Face with rolling eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Face with rolling eyes">

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris

Oh you can offer money, can you? Because I& #39;ve never heard *that* before. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris" title="Oh you can offer money, can you? Because I& #39;ve never heard *that* before. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙄" title="Face with rolling eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Face with rolling eyes"> #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💡" title="Electric light bulb" aria-label="Emoji: Electric light bulb"> It& #39;s like when you have get an idea except one year and seven months after you had the idea originally but had forgotten about it so it seems totally novel and brilliant in the present

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris

It& #39;s like when you have get an idea except one year and seven months after you had the idea originally but had forgotten about it so it seems totally novel and brilliant in the present #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris" title="https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💡" title="Electric light bulb" aria-label="Emoji: Electric light bulb"> It& #39;s like when you have get an idea except one year and seven months after you had the idea originally but had forgotten about it so it seems totally novel and brilliant in the present #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙅🏼‍♂️" title="Man gesturing not ok (medium light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Man gesturing not ok (medium light skin tone)">

#noYouCantBeInMyNoYouCantHaveMyUsernameThread
#noYouCantHaveMyUsername

#noYouCantBeInMyNoYouCantHaveMyUsernameThread #noYouCantHaveMyUsername" title="https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙅🏼‍♂️" title="Man gesturing not ok (medium light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Man gesturing not ok (medium light skin tone)"> #noYouCantBeInMyNoYouCantHaveMyUsernameThread #noYouCantHaveMyUsername" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>

When the mousetrap catches a mouse!

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🧀" title="Cheese wedge" aria-label="Emoji: Cheese wedge">

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐁" title="Mouse" aria-label="Emoji: Mouse">

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris

When the mousetrap catches a mouse! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐁" title="Mouse" aria-label="Emoji: Mouse"> #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris" title="When the mousetrap catches a mouse! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🧀" title="Cheese wedge" aria-label="Emoji: Cheese wedge">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐁" title="Mouse" aria-label="Emoji: Mouse"> #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris">

Is trading IG usernames a thing?

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris

No you can’t have my... grille?!

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris

Damn this thread is...

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😵" title="Dizzy face" aria-label="Emoji: Dizzy face">

at least I& #39;m not the only one! #noYouCantHaveMyUsername

https://twitter.com/troni_tz/status/1193920117731663872?s=21">https://twitter.com/troni_tz/...

https://twitter.com/troni_tz/status/1193920117731663872?s=21

Hmm

FML #IGChris

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